Bent Coppers!

Bent Coppers!

I’m going to level with you. We have a mole in Sharpmonkeys. Someone, (we don’t know who yet) is leaking information to the OCG. 

Every attempt we make to get new customers is thwarted by our search engine results. Leads seem to come in on their own. Enquiries are growing and referrals are through the roof. 

This can only mean one thing.

It has become common knowledge that we are good at SEO & PPC. Potential customers searching locally are finding us, liking what they are reading and getting in touch. Either that or someone is spreading the word through the back door, money changing hands in brown envelopes in shady alleyways. Our trusty and reliable CHIS has gone to ground, leaving us just to build a reputation online.

The OCG (is it wrong to refer to Google as an OCG?) is working for us, it’s almost criminal.

There is even a rumour that we use RACE , notwithstanding that,  it has been known for us to wield a SWOT in anger as well as helping clients with their CTR and ROI when using PPC.

This goes deeper than DI Arnotts addiction to painkillers and DI Kate Fleming’s weird obsession with striped roll neck jumpers.

Someone in here is “doing a Ryan”. Trust me, when I find them, their feet won’t touch the ground. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s bent coppers. 

How do we know there is a rat in the kitchen, a snake in the grass? It is becoming clearer everyday (much like Ted Hastings dodgy dealings ) by the amount of fabulous feedback we are getting from customers who are achieving great results online and the results we are getting ourselves from Google.

Sitrep, I also think we are being followed (on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram) Mother of God , some might say,  stalked.

The strings are definitely being pulled by a higher order, someone further up the chain, the infamous “H”. Everything we have heard on the mean streets of Worcester point to one person. We categorically cannot reveal their identity.

 

H from Line of Duty

If like us, you are gripped by the latest shenanigans in AC-12 , or if you want to improve your positions in the search engines, increase your leads or even develop a digital marketing plan. We can help.

It won’t need an ARU intervention or an AFO but it will need some objectives, maybe a chat over a coffee to determine what you are trying to achieve. We can do that remotely – via Teams, Zoom or your super safe encrypted messenger service if you like :-). Anonymity guaranteed.

To improve on your digital marketing and improve your chances of being on the right side of the   OCG get in touch with us.